Getting the envelope.
Hollywood or bus.
Acting with the goat.
The casting couch.
Dr Weston I presume?
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LIGHTS CAMERA ACTON 1 2 3 4
Words by Marcus Diamond
SATURDAY
10.00am
Nerves were tingling. I guess it all started at the coffee house on the corner.
Was this the right place? Yes there's the The Other Cinema. Well of course it was the right place,
what I mean is the adrenalin was racing and the competition had started already. Not officially
underway just yet: still, our eyebrows rose slowly and suspiciously towards the handful of
myopia-suffering turtle-necked types beginning to gather. Nervously I cleaned my glasses and
looked out for our two missing team members. No sign.
10.30am
Before we started this endeavor only 2 things were absolutely certain. The first was that the
film we were here to make had to be finished in 48 hours dead starting 11.00am Saturday.
That was the nature of the beast. 48 hours. To make an entire film before Monday 11.00am.
The second? Well, that Gibbons would be late. With the clock ticking he was certainly
keeping his side of the bargain. I couldn’t get 48hrs out of my head and all I could think
about was a bloody Bernard Manning joke - "What do you get if you cross Eddie Murphy with George
Formby? Turned out fucking nice again"
10.55am
We went in.
11.30am
"Here's some rules not to break" shouted the Fat Controller as he randomly handed out the brown
envelopes to the 50 eagerly awaiting teams sat, appropriately, in a cinema. Very brief.
More time for filmmaking you see. No gasps. Just grab and run. Each envelope would decide the
very basics of your film,
giving you a genre, a prop, a character and a line of dialogue.
Whilst everyone else made for the door Cannonball Run style, we awaited our 2 missing members
biding our time nominating who would play whom in the aforementioned 1980's classic.
Moz and I needed 2 vicar suits and a red Ferrari. James would be...Captain Chaos,
No, no that honour was to go to Gibbons as and when. Or he could play the weird guy with a
penchant for smelling his finger...
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Download (and vote for) the finished film SITUATION VACANT
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